Courageous & Candid Conversation...
Naturally, this is perhaps one of the most commonly asked questions when the phrase first catches a person's attention. It would seem to be quite an innocent and easy to answer question too right?
Hmm... not really.
So much is offered under what is actually a huge umbrella term. Students of classical tantra would perhaps scoff at it, as such a "service" could be said to not even exist from their perspective. It could feasibly be argued that by using the term, we are doing what humans have such a propensity for; misappropriating a name from an ancient high-brow and little understood sacred teaching, and turning it into a marketing ploy for profits. I speak of this openly, even though I myself use the term and it helps to create my main source of income, as there is truth behind the accusation.
With such a truth in mind, I am commanded (by my inner power) to do my best to stay in integrity by doing what I can to weave into my work, the essence of tantric teachings. I do this whilst knowing that they are being reshaped in order to meet the needs and level of understanding of those of us who are not born into the culture or circumstance of the origins, ancient scriptures and truly tantric ways of being.
BUT! I suspect none of the above comes close to satisfy those who ask the question "what is tantra massage?"
"No, I mean, What Do You DO?"
You are the Temple
In truth, the real difference is made as much by you as by me (or the one offering the experience). There are many others who offer services and name them "tantra massage" whose answers will be wildly different to mine. I can therefore only speak into what makes the sessions that I offer different (although some other sacred-sexuality practitioners may well agree with what I share).
Your session will emerge out of your unique set of desires, needs, boundaries and the over-arching motivation you had in seeking out tantra in the first place.
One person could look upon an erotic image and call it art, whilst another sees the same image and names it pornography. The only difference is the eye/mind of the one looking.
Similarly, the difference between seeing/touching another person's body and using that experience to jack-up the sex-response for self-gratification (objectification); and seeing/touching another person's body and agreeing to co-create an experience that serves both (connection), is simply the difference in attitude and intention.
And so it is with tantra massage.
The part I play in holding space for your experience is that I will do my best to invite you into the following tantric ways (which from MY perspective, ensures my gaze/attitude is trained to tantra regardless of where your gaze/attitude is fixed)...
I could go on and on and on some more about what makes tantra massage tantric, I am aware that even in all I have mentioned, I am only just brushing the edges of what is possible. I'm also aware, that there is enough here to stimulate a little more contemplation. And as you contemplate I offer a question of my own to you...
How will YOU make your experience of tantra massage, tantric? What will it take? Do you need to remove the filter of pornography and switch to that of the Renaissance Masters? Or simply allow a tiny "click" in cognisance for a whole new world to open before you?
Whatever it takes, I wish it for you. I wish it for you because I know the realm of healing, transformation and expansion into a more enlivened life awaits you, and that a well received tantra massage is one of the most magical gifts you can offer yourself.
Join me for a cheeky bite into contemplations on the nuances and riches of life as a messy yet magnificent human (and more than).