Courageous & Candid Conversation...
What The Heck...10/29/2022 Is Kundalini?
Note to Reader. The opinions/experiences shared below offer a supremely simplified explanation for concepts that are beyond complex. They are not intended to offend scholars or disregard sacred scripts or in depth studies; they are simply a means of creating a way in for the lay person (such as I). My encouragement to all is to let go of mental argument and soften into embodied experience. In such a way we stand a chance, at least, to discover the wisdom we currently have access to within the cells of our body and revealed to us through felt sense.
I was recently asked a question which in brief was “What the heck is Kundalini?” And after answering… “How does that differ to Eros?” I don’t claim to be an expert in esoteric principles, but have touched upon micro-experiences (and some WOWzer experiences) that I believe have provided me with some decent enough clues.
I love this passage about Kundalini, as it demonstrates the absolute saturation of the whole of existence with this force:
"The Kundalini creates the universe out of Her own being, and it is She Herself who becomes this universe. She becomes all the elements of the universe and enters into all the different forms that we see around us. She becomes the sun, the moon, the stars and fire to illuminate the cosmos which She creates. She becomes the prana, the vital force, to keep all creatures, including humans and birds, alive; it is She who, to quench our thirst, becomes water. To satisfy our hunger, She becomes food. Whatever we see or don't see, whatever exists, right from the earth to the sky is nothing but Kundalini. It is that supreme energy which moves and animates all creatures, from the elephant to the tiniest ant. She enters each and every creature and thing that She creates, yet never loses Her identity or Her immaculate purity." Swami Muktananda, Kundalini: The Secret of Life. So What Of Eros?
Eros is, in my understanding, inseparable from Kundalini. On the esoteric level it is the Muse that creates the desire for Kundalini to come into manifest form. As a lived experience it is the state of arousal - not necessarily sexual but can include sexual sensation. To be aroused is to be turned onto life, to feel the heart expand in response to a sunset, to be moved to tears at the witnessing of suffering, to feel drawn into engagement with others, to receive the sensual gifts of the five senses and pour them into creating even more arousal/Eros.
What of Sexual energy...
is that to be denied in favour of Eros/Love?
"Eros is the transformative force of life, love is the unifying force and sexuality is the creative force, the expression of our physical nature. Love is the expression of a conscious will to evolve toward a unified being. Eros, sexuality and love present the possibility of unifying the masculine and feminine within us." John C. Pierrakos M.D.
The possibility could therefore be pondered upon, that Kundalini is the “Mother” power, or the ultimate force that is more than the sum of the "lesser" vibrations of Eros, Love and Sex. And of course, this could also be considered to be nothing more than head mash, something to entertain the intellect whilst the liquid light carries on just doing it’s thing!
The Ultimate Answer?
However we choose to answer the questions around Kundalini, Eros, Sexual Energy, Love; the only answers that have great value to the individual, are those that arise out of a lived experience. If we imagine ourselves as conduits for all of these forces, the more we turn our awareness to our felt senses, the more we may sense how each vibration feels to us. All of these forces will change shape/expression in response to the unique imprint created by whatever filters we have formed. Such filters include our beliefs, experiences, health-states, personality, behavioural patterns, mental flexibility/rigidity, identity and so on.
So only you can discern for yourself what any of these terms mean to you. Only you can feel within you your unique relationship to the forces of life. And only you can choose in which ways, and in which combination you desire to explore these forces. A Micro-Practice:
Listen to the track below whilst indulging in some lovely Sufi Grinds, tuning into your Felt Sense, and contemplating all of the above.
The track is around 5min30sec So I recommend taking a few seconds to tune into your body, 2.5mins in one direction, 2.5mins in the opposite direction, then a few seconds to feel what is most alive in your experience. You could repeat a few times, or use longer tracks or silence to enjoy a longer practice. Just be sure to give the same amount of time to each direction. Enjoy!
Carolyn Cowan gives a very detailed description of the Sufi Grind, I suggest listening to her to get the most out of this apparently simple movement. Once you have it down though, let go of all thoughts of correctness of form so you can receive the full experience. In other words, let go and let your body take your mind on a journey.
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The Reclamation9/30/2022 A Practice of Remembering
We stand on a small street in a residential area of town, a cul-de-sac of pleasant but fairly unremarkable houses, each with a small front garden. There are just the four of us, my ex-husband and his wife, me and our daughter. She is playing a little way from us, skipping with a rope and making up songs and rhymes. I'm enjoying the new experience of a friendly conversation between we three adults. Ordinarily there is tension, a general mutual dislike and lack of respect. But today I am being asked for advice on yoga and meditation. My daughter's step-mum has discovered that my "woo-woo" pursuits actually work well for her too, and is now speaking enthusiastically about her experiences so far and enquiring into how she can take it further.
I share some resources and information with her and once satisfied, she smiles and turns to approach my little girl and join her in her games. I similarly turn still smiling to face my ex, and am met by a stone cold glare and hateful accusations. He attacks telling me I am poisoning his wife against him, that the more she engages with "yoga and woo" the more she will lose her mind. She will turn crazy just like me. I immediately raise my voice to match his, in defence of myself and also in defence of his wife's right to chose her own path. I am remembering the disparaging comments and put-downs he had used against me when we were married and now rage is moving through me. Tempers flare and we are warming up nicely for a pretty spectacular "Eastenders Eat Your Heart Out" scene when our attention is suddenly captured by a harrowing sound above us. Looking up we see something huge yet incomprehensible hurtling towards earth. Perhaps a space-station... but it seems to be the size of a small town. Military aircraft appear to be flying towards and around it as if attempting to alter its trajectory but they look like, and appear to be as effective as tiny gnats. My heart is in my mouth and I know with certainty that this thing will strike in a matter of seconds and life on earth will cease to exist. The earth itself may cease to exist. My only desire now is to reach my daughter, to wrap my arms around her and fuel her with my love and courage as we pass through the portal of death. I am running arms outstretched calling her name, calling her towards me... A terrifying blast of commotion, a white-hot searing heat. Did I reach her? I'm now surrounded by black silence, not so much floating but rather, being pulled towards something un-nameable. There is no "me", no body, and yet I have never felt so exquisitely alive and whole. I am as subtle as breath yet as substantial as gold. I have full knowledge of the final minutes before death and pray my daughter is experiencing as much comfort, peace and serenity as I am now feeling. I hear my own laughter as I remember the heated argument I was so enraged by and caught up in. It seems so funny now, so meaningless. I reflect on what HAD mattered during my life. The only answer was love. Had I loved as thoroughly as I might? Had I demonstrated care and kindness in my words and actions? Had I allowed loving kindness to be my guide? Even these reflections dissolve as I am drawn closer to home. I am experiencing wave upon wave of ecstatic surrender, orgasmic ripples. I AM orgasmic ripples joining the Great River of souls, surrounded by the sweetest harmonics. We are each a rillet of musical mantra making our final return to the Ocean of All. In The Dark Times
The story from my dreamtime shared above is one of my "go-to" memories that I call up whenever the dark of these times encroaches on my inner peace. I find it so deeply reassuring. I can call up the same serenity and certainty I felt in the final phases and it immediately washes away any impulse to believe and become enmeshed with minor conflicts or images of despair fed to us via TV, newspapers and social media.
This doesn't mean I bury my head in the sand and pretend that there is no suffering in this life, not at all. It is more a case of keeping things in perspective so that my nervous system is soothed and returns to its window of tolerance. In this way I can be available to support any I meet who are immersed in the suffering. I believe this is key for all of us as we move forward through the chaos of our times. The more we can take care of the systems of our body that support our overall wellbeing, the more we can rise like warriors and steadily walk on the battle fields taking care of the wounded. The yogic-tantric warrior doesn't do this from a place of aloof detachment, but from a place of entrenched compassion. I do not place an extra pressure upon myself to be saintly, but rather I allow myself my humanity. I crumble, I drop into melancholy, I too cry tears of despair knowing I can afford to do so. Feeling it all keeps my heart awake to the struggles; having strategies to self-soothe and having good friends and family to be held by, or share laughter with ensures I don't get stuck in the suffering. Below is a beautiful practice that is perfect medicine when external influences have us believing in the hopelessness of life. The description is a little wordy, but once you have run through it with your body-mind you will see it is really very simple. May you remember that you too have great strategies and memories to lean into, and that by reclaiming the power to soothe body-mind-emotion, you also reclaim the fullness of who you are. A warrior walking steadily onwards. Golden Globe Meditation
PART ONE:
Continue with the breath and the golden sphere visualisation until you feel ready to switch the energy (you’ll know when you’re ready).
PART TWO:
Extra Notes
As you move through Part One you might find that you enter some cathartic release of emotion, keep breathing and allow any tears to fall, any anger to be screamed out, move your body, dance or punch pillows, whatever you need to do to discharge the energy (just be sure not to cause yourself, anyone else, or even the fixtures and furnishings in your room any harm in the process).
BUT! Do not lose yourself to catharsis! Out of control emotion isn't helpful here so determine to keep coming back to the breath and visualisation after each release. In this way we are supporting the development of our governing physiological systems. As you move through Part Two be aware of these two things: 1) Your energy is constantly returning to you so you will never become depleted. Each time you inhale, as well as the energy moving up to the heart from your naval, it is also continuing to be called home TO the naval as in the first part of the practice. There is a constant flow of power returning to you, therefore no lack being created. 2) You may get images, ideas, solutions and desires dropping in so pay attention, maybe jot them down as they arise or be prepared to journal or create art immediately afterwards. AmandaJoin me for a cheeky bite into contemplations on the nuances and riches of life as a messy yet magnificent human (and more than). Archives
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