Courageous & Candid Conversation...
Thankfully I received a yes, yet with a request for anonymity and so the author will be unnamed. But just a mention, she is able to write from the perspective of having both received and given tantra massages.
Below she offers her personal opinion on what makes tantra massage tantric and thereby deepen the conversation started in the earlier blog (posted 1st December 22)...
An Offering from Another
"Reading your blog about what tantric massage is made me think about it is to me and more to the point why tantric massage feels so different and has such deep effects on me compared to other kinds of massage and bodywork.
I agree with all you write about tantric massage, and my descriptions are probably the same but just worded differently. So for me, what makes a massage tantric, are these things:
Inclusive of The Whole
Touch to breasts and/or genitals is usually excluded. No wonder really that this has become one of the defining characteristics of tantra and why the name is so often misused. Where else can the whole of the body and its sexual expression be explored and integrated as part of a session?
And yet, sexuality is but one part of what it means to be human, and for me, tantra is about a child-like innocent way of exploring, noticing, experiencing with curiosity, all aspects of being human as they present themselves in a session. And this, without hidden or unspoken agendas. It is about being wholly welcome, allowing sexuality to be part of, but not the sole focus of a session. All of this makes me feel fully present, and fully welcome, just as I am. Tantric massage is also the only place I have found where sexual energy can be used to enhance experiences and sensations. Still with the absence of a goal to reach orgasm (thereby discharging that energy), but just to revel in and experience the intensity of it. But like you, I think if the body responds with orgasm that is totally fine and welcome too - it's just not something I would aim for or focus on. There are other places where orgasm is the main goal and that is fine, but it's not what I offer or indeed would ask or expect for myself.
Presence without Goals
I have been seeing you for sessions for more than 6 years now and I also do not underestimate the effect of you seeing me in all sorts of state of mind, body, and spirit, and always with the same level of acceptance and welcome and presence. I may have gained 3 stone in weight in those 6 years, I may have bounced from highs to lows and from tears to laughter, from near or complete orgasmic to rather flat states of being, and everything in between, and all of that is ok and welcome and honoured. The level of trust this has established is enormous. I may find my own body quite difficult to love and accept at the moment, but the experience of me / my body being received in the way you do is very precious and healing indeed.
The Sacred & Oneness
When I receive a tantric massage, I also try to tune in to all of that, not to be guided but to simply be present and aware and allow this energy to amplify all that is going on. This often leads me into experiencing nothing but energy and presence (me, you, the sacred) along with breath and being. This happened in the last session with you, and it is so beautiful, glorious even - impossible to describe! Being surrounded by love and acceptance, in a sensory flow of touch and smell and sound is just wonderful! Definitely an experience of 'all being one' and a feeling of total harmony with all of creation. Not something that would be easy to discuss in other massages, and not something I have ever experienced in other massages.
Back to me just to say a heartfelt thank you to this courageous explorer for taking the time to contemplate and write so beautifully about your experience of tantra.
If any other such explorers would like to share your reflections with me, you are most welcome to contact me anytime. Likewise, if you have any questions or any theme you would love to hear a perspective on, let me know, I'm more than happy to be challenged!
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