What Is...

Tantra Massage (Part 2)

I adore it when "readers" engage fully in these postings and I often receive emails sharing reflections and comments. Recently I received a message so packed with wisdom and understanding that I was moved to ask permission to craft a blog from their commentary.

Thankfully I received a yes, yet with a request for anonymity and so the author will be unnamed. But just a mention, she is able to write from the perspective of having both received and given tantra massages.

Below she offers her personal opinion on what makes tantra massage tantric and thereby deepen the conversation started in the earlier blog (posted 1st December 22)...

An Offering from Another

"Reading your blog about what tantric massage is made me think about it is to me and more to the point why tantric massage feels so different and has such deep effects on me compared to other kinds of massage and bodywork. 
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I agree with all you write about tantric massage, and my descriptions are probably the same but just worded differently. So for me, what makes a massage tantric, are these things: 

• The inclusion of a person's sexuality (if desired and within both giver and receiver's boundaries)
• The non-directiveness i.e. there is no goal other than to experience what is, in each and every moment.
• The sacred framework in which the massage takes place
• The potential to experience non-duality or a feeling of being 'at one' and completely whole, in flow with and connected to all of creation (if there was a goal in tantric massage, it would probably be this: to experience being at one and whole, in complete harmony with all and everything else)

Inclusive of The Whole

Ideally, the 'whole' of a person should be welcome in any massage or therapeutic setting, but in most of other settings, the subject and let alone the expression of sexuality is not so welcome. 

Touch to breasts and/or genitals is usually excluded. No wonder really that this has become one of the defining characteristics of tantra and why the name is so often misused. Where else can the whole of the body and its sexual expression be explored and integrated as part of a session?

And yet, sexuality is but one part of what it means to be human, and for me, tantra is about a child-like innocent way of exploring, noticing, experiencing with curiosity, all aspects of being human as they present themselves in a session. And this, without hidden or unspoken agendas. It is about being wholly welcome, allowing sexuality to be part of, but not the sole focus of a session. All of this makes me feel fully present, and fully welcome, just as I am. Tantric massage is also the only place I have found where sexual energy can be used to enhance experiences and sensations. Still with the absence of a goal to reach orgasm (thereby discharging that energy), but just to revel in and experience the intensity of it. But like you, I think if the body responds with orgasm that is totally fine and welcome too - it's just not something I would aim for or focus on. There are other places where orgasm is the main goal and that is fine, but it's not what I offer or indeed would ask or expect for myself.

Presence without Goals

The non-goal oriented purpose to me also seems different from most other massages. The only 'goal' (for want of a better word) of a tantric massage for me is to be present, and aware, and experience whatever sensations are offered or rise up within me.
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I have been seeing you for sessions for more than 6 years now and I also do not underestimate the effect of you seeing me in all sorts of state of mind, body, and spirit, and always with the same level of acceptance and welcome and presence. I may have gained 3 stone in weight in those 6 years, I may have bounced from highs to lows and from tears to laughter, from near or complete orgasmic to rather flat states of being, and everything in between, and all of that is ok and welcome and honoured. The level of trust this has established is enormous. I may find my own body quite difficult to love and accept at the moment, but the experience of me / my body being received in the way you do is very precious and healing indeed.

The Sacred & Oneness

With regards to the sacred framework, I can only explain that as 1+1= more than 2. When I give a tantric massage, I do so by putting myself into a position of 'service' and - within my and their boundaries - allow myself to be guided by the combination of our own energy and that of the sacred or divine which surrounds us. This supports the honouring all that presents itself, the physical body and its responses as well as mental, emotional, and spiritual experiences. 

When I receive a tantric massage, I also try to tune in to all of that, not to be guided but to simply be present and aware and allow this energy to amplify all that is going on. This often leads me into experiencing nothing but energy and presence (me, you, the sacred) along with breath and being. This happened in the last session with you, and it is so beautiful, glorious even - impossible to describe! Being surrounded by love and acceptance, in a sensory flow of touch and smell and sound is just wonderful! Definitely an experience of 'all being one' and a feeling of total harmony with all of creation. Not something that would be easy to discuss in other massages, and not something I have ever experienced in other massages. ​

Thank You

Back to me just to say a heartfelt thank you to this courageous explorer for taking the time to contemplate and write so beautifully about your experience of tantra.

If any other such explorers would like to share your reflections with me, you are most welcome to contact me anytime. Likewise, if you have any questions or any theme you would love to hear a perspective on, let me know, I'm more than happy to be challenged!