Courageous & Candid Conversation...
A Truth Telling...4/28/2023 On Transformation
and immediately start our transition from non-existence into form, from cells into tissues, to organs and systems into a body. We swim in the watery womb until the environment that has resourced our growth turns into tight confinement and birthing must happen. Suddenly we are in a vast expanse. Our first breath floods us with a whole new element and triggers a cascade of inner reactions that transition us into a new form. Throughout life there is ceaseless movement, many state changes occurring within each hour lived. Sometimes the shifts are subtle, hidden or so comfortable that we trick ourselves into believing we have reached a balance point or stability that will stay in place now. "I'm better now, I've cleared that now, the work is complete and my new self has landed" (Bhaahahahahhhaaha!!) As we develop in awareness and sensitivity the transformational states can appear to be even more frequent and deeply uncomfortable. When experienced through a lens of tension or resistance we tear through sheaths, crack out of bone-sturdy barriers and now there is no hiding from the rawness of our very own growth. When we feel depleted or under-resourced all of this can be leave us feeling either underwhelmed or overwhelmed - either way it can be tricky to fully embrace and enjoy our lives. So, before all of this gets super depressing! How might we handle the truth that we are in a perpetual state of transition and sometimes that can be rough? For me just acknowledging the truth of it helps, it supports me in being kind to myself (and everyone else). It also helps to acknowledge that there are sweet moments too. In ease, rest, play, laughter and pleasure, growth is happening. We are even shape-shifting in our sleep and isn't that a beautiful thought! "I'm going to bed now so I nail my own evolutionary growth!" Pun thoroughly intended as not only in sleep but also in pleasure (self or with other; sexual, sensual or other) we are transforming. There is power in pleasure states, not only to soothe and soften our growing pains, but also to support the movement of life-force energy as Eros. Doorways ThroughA term often misunderstood as only pertaining to sexual erotica, I believe Eros to be so much more. I look out into my springtime garden and feel in my heart that Eros is GREEN - at least it is right now. It is fundamentally the energy that both causes and resources our growth. From conception of form in the womb, the whole way through to the conception of "beyond states"; when our matter returns to earth and consciousness is set free from the constraints of our physical body. Eros is enabling our whole journey.
Slow full and connected breaths through my nose offer the gentlest activation of the nervous system which in turn, makes sensation more available to me... Sweetly, sensuously. I adore these soft, slow doorways in, my psyche opens as well as my body and now is when sensual touch can REALLY expand arousal of the sex and heart centres to receive a honey-rich river of ecstatic Eros to wash through.
but rather it encourages the raising of awareness of the energies that are already part of our innate resourcing system. An energy raised with intention and awareness can become a source of healing, a creative force to support manifestation, and of course, a rich field in which we can access knowings and visions of who we have been, who we are now during our becoming, who we are transforming into being. In and Through to You.Some of the offerings I share in my one-to-one and group sessions align beautifully with the doorways I describe above. These doorways into and through any life-challenge are particularly useful at times when it feels like an old way of being has died, but a new way has yet to be revealed. These are often our most painful transitions as they require us to put our trust in something unknown (which can create fear and anxiety in a system conditioned to "know first, act second"). And this whilst traversing any grief, depression, resentment that can emerge following any loss of self, or loss of relationships and circumstances that once provided clear knowing and a degree of safety. If you feel that you would like to access some supportive ways through testing times please consider receiving the following sessions. They can either be received whilst life is cosy, growth then being supported within an environment of ease and joy. Or if you are already in discomfort, these sessions can first support by soothing and then, by harvesting and directing the raised energy to help the transformation occur within a more resourced system. Every doorway in essence leads to a clearer sense of you:
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When The Anchor Disappears3/27/2023 Dismantling Old Patterns
I fit lots in around that anchor because I know things need to happen before and after it. Nothing unusual here I'm sure - it is how we time-manage and support productivity etc. But when that anchor is taken away by short notice cancellation, postponement or communication breakdown, it has a paralysing effect on me. I suddenly have zero energy to attend to all of the things I would have easily moved onto after the anchor. I feel something akin to sulky. It isn't quite that, and rarely am I annoyed at the others for not being able to make it (apart from client no-shows, those who don't tell me they won't be coming - that admittedly can get me miffed). Even without any projected anger or blame, I drop into dismay and instantly want to give up on all other plans. I was recently gifted such an experience, and as an experiment, I chose to allow myself to FEEL deeply. In the feeling/sensing I was able to hear my body's guidance on what was needed. In committing myself to follow that guidance I was able to take myself through a process which halted the pattern, and altered my attitude, energy and actions for the rest of the day. In a surprisingly short space of time, I changed a previously very well established pattern AND gathered evidence that I could do this time and time again as and when needed. I can now, with conviction, declare, I no longer have this particular pattern - because I can choose to break it whenever it threatens to thwart my day. Read on for the in-the-moment report/process: A Sensing ProcessNoticing - First CyclePhysically - shoulders slump, tummy pulls towards spine as if to protect it's own softness. I feel my facial muscles sag as opposed to being lifted and bright in anticipation of the meeting. Emotionally - I feel disappointed, and under that, a sting of rejection. There is a part of me that believes "I" am not important enough to be the priority and this is all the evidence I need to uphold that belief. Under that is the feeling of not "mattering" enough to be cared for by others, which leads into "I had therefore best maintain independence" (followed by deep sadness). Mentally - A cascade of conflicting thoughts, lists of what I need to do and what I could choose to do with the freed up time; but such strong apathy that it would take a will of steel to make anything happen. There is a voice that wants to go easy on me and tell me its okay, forget today, everything can wait until tomorrow now. A voice that wants to kick my own butt into action, this inner coach is yelling in my face and shaking my shoulders. The critic who feeds the shame machine is stomping through my head - "you are so crap at this, what is WRONG with you!?" The task-master who activates fear, pressure and anxiety. She wondering why I am wasting time on Facebook, so much more productive stuff to attend to. Noticing - Second CyclePhysically - tummy now a tight knot and all muscles clenching, tightening, jaw clenched. Coiled up energy stuck in freeze. Emotions and mental states oscillating - increasing the intensity of anxiety. Ah! And now breath (noticing I have hardly breathed at all and now I'm needing to allow a deeper breath into a tightened body - tricky) Often this moves into collapse. Abandon all hope of doing anything worthwhile today, watch Netflix or similar, do bare minimum to feed self and allow the exhaustion to take over. I don't want that to be the result today. Today I choose something else. Remedy Phase One: |